Revenge, Best Served Cold
by sazza-da-vampire
Summary: Family Matters. Legolas and his best friend find themselves the objects of their dear friend's prank when she is assigned a particularly boring chore. While still bearing the stains of their ordeal, Legolas and Tathar exact their revenge upon Aldanna in an altogether unexpected manner. Dye is one way to humiliate your friends. Spiders have more possibilities to get creative, though
1. Blue

Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable.

Blue

Aldanna was, once again, helping her friends' mother in the shop. Ladlaurë was the Greenwood's most skilled seamstress and weaver, and once again she needed a few extra pairs of hands to complete all her orders on time.

Aldanna was fully aware of the value of Greenwood Silk, for the silk, harvested from the giant spiders which roamed the south, when treated right could take colour like no other fabric, and would not fade or wrinkle even with hard travel. The King had paid Ladlaurë handsomely to outfit this year's graduates of the Trials in new clothes, everything from warriors' uniforms to day clothes, and even a few pretty dresses for the ellyth.

The silk Aldanna was dying would be used for a dress, for one ellyth was planning to travel to Imladris after the Trials to learn healing - a route which most healers of the Greenwood had taken, for the Wood was darkening, and no-one could afford to be unable to defend themself from the spiders.

_Blue_, Aldanna thought with disgust. _My hands will be blue for a week_. She carefully wrung the cloth out, letting the dark water, so dark it appeared black, fall back into the large basin. The bright blue silk she placed carefully outside, draped over some overhanging branches, and she returned inside to dispose of the dye.

Aldanna stopped, a thought occurring to her. _Blue_, she mused. _Blue could be interesting._

Aldanna knew that Legolas and Tathar had spent the week with some warriors, collecting more silk for Ladlaurë, and they would be returning this evening.

She also knew that they would immediately seek their baths, for neither Legolas nor Tathar particularly enjoyed their fathers' reactions to them showing up to dinner smelling like dirt and mud.

Smirking, Aldanna prepared to cart the dye into the palace.

Tathar's rooms were located just inside the stronghold. Lothelleth, Tathar's mother, was the seneschal, and she ran the domestic side of the Kingdom. Lothelleth's family quarters were perhaps the cleanest in the Halls, and Aldanna had little trouble bringing a bucket of dye into Tathar's washroom.

She found a large bottle of bath gel, emptied it, and refilled it with dye. Taking her knife, she carefully scored the side, so that when Tathar picked it up it would break, spilling all its contents into the bathtub.

Systematically, Aldanna replaced the shampoo, conditioner and face wash with dye, breaking the lids of these bottles, too.

When she was finished, the opaque containers seemed innocent, the damage being completely hidden at a cursory glance. Satisfied, Aldanna left, and managed to sneak into Legolas' room as well.

Repeating her actions, she stealthily left the palace, crossing paths with the King on the way, who reminded her to wear formal clothes for the welcome home feast being prepared in honour of the warriors' return. Aldanna wrung her stained hands, and commented that perhaps she should wear blue to hide her hands. Thranduil chuckled, suggesting gloves if she were so self-conscious.

An hour later, Aldanna and her father Malthon crossed the bridge into the palace to join Thranduil for dinner. Lothellon was present already, being bodyguard to the King, as was his comrade, Aldanna's mother Sílívren, for she was the Queen's bodyguard. The Brethils and Ladlaurë arrived moments after Aldanna, and Aldanna noticed that Brethildíl's hands were stained purple, and Brethilríl's were bright green, testifying to their work of the day, helping their mother, just like Aldanna.

Aldanna chattered with her friends as the adults took their places at table, and soon Princess Nímloth entered, bringing with her three children - her daughters Gilloth and Melloth, and her little sister, Lothlomë. Each child greeted Aldanna warily, and she remembered the twins' last birthday, when she had dressed like a bloody corpse while her friends were wraiths and dead Kings. It had been hilarious at the time, but the girls had only recently ceased calling her – and all her friends – orcs.

Lothelleth arrived, bringing a number of kitchen staff with dinner in her wake. The imperious woman informed the King that her husband and son, and the King's son, were indeed coming, though against the boys' wishes.

Moments later, Aldanna finally let her smirk show as those missing arrived.

Neldororn, respected warrior of the Greenwood and Tathar's father, could be heard even through the closed doors.

Aldanna dropped her dark blue hands below the table as Neldoron pushed Tathar into the room, blue skin bright against his green tunic. With his other hand, Neldororn pushed Legolas in, too, and the other boy was just as blue as his friend.

Neldororn took his seat, and immediately filled his glass with strong wine, as Tathar scrabbled at the door and Legolas stood stiffly, eyes on his father.

Suddenly someone laughed, likely one of the children, and a moment later the whole room was laughing. Legolas crossed his arms, pouting.

"I don't know what happened," he said sullenly. "I took a bath, and when I dressed I was blue."

Aldanna chuckled and clapped, idly noticing that her own hands were much darker than the boys' skin, no doubt due to her extended exposure to the dye during the afternoon.

Tathar finally gave up on opening the door, which had been held fast by some passing elves at Neldororn's suggestion. He slumped into a seat, reaching for the wine, which was quickly pulled out of his reach by his mother. Sighing, Tathar poured himself some fruit juice, the colour contrasting starkly against his skin.

Legolas, meanwhile, took the last seat, and everyone started piling food on their plates.

When the story finally came out, Aldanna was assigned punishment duties in the cellars for the duration of the dye lasting in the boys' skin (and, in Legolas' case, his hair).

Tathar's skin was tinged blue for a week, much like Aldanna's hands. Legolas' skin was blue for almost a week and a half, due to the very pale skin he started with.

His hair, however, was still stained blue a month later.

Aldanna's duty in the cellars was deemed complete after four weeks, but poor Legolas still had bright blue hair.

The colour faded slowly, until it was a dull blue, rather than the bright royal blue it had initially become.

As his hair grew, he had a line where the blue ended and his natural blonde began.

He gave Aldanna trouble for as long as the blue lasted, which, in total, was almost four months, for the colour finally washed away.

The next time Ladlaurë asked Aldanna to help with fabrics, Aldanna was assigned to dye silk brown for guards' uniforms.

This time, her targets were the Loths - the children Melloth, Gilloth and Lothlomë.

The time after that, Aldanna was dying more silk - this time, green.

Aldanna managed to get hold of every white item of clothing all of her friends owned. She turned them all green before returning them, otherwise unharmed.

For that she was punished with the duty of bleaching all of the stained clothing, until they came clean. Then someone decided that she should no longer assist the seamstress with colour, and instead was assigned to accompany the warriors whenever Ladlaurë needed extra helpers.


	2. Revenge, Best Served Cold

Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable.

Revenge, Best Served Cold

Legolas, still bearing the stubborn blue stain on his skin, crept through the Halls, Tathar at his side. The blue boys, as the other Elves had taken to calling them, slipped unnoticed out of the Gate and over the bridge, and soundlessly took to the trees, bypassing the community about the palace without notice. They had a plan, and only needed one thing to pull it off – and they wouldn't find it in the palace!

Once the pair had reached a sufficiently dark part of the forest, they started searching for any signs of their quarry – a wisp of silver silk, or a thread, glinting with dew in the darkness. Finally, Tathar caught sight of a web, and soon Legolas had found the nest.

_Perfect_! Legolas thought, as he took an empty sack from his bag. "Tathar," he whispered to his friend, a metre higher in the branches, "on the count of three. One, two, _three!_"

Tathar expertly sliced through the single thick strand holding the egg sac suspended in the branches, and Legolas caught the surprisingly heavy sac with a thump.

"Done!" Legolas crowed victoriously, tying off the lid of the sac, securing the head-sized ball of threads in the sack with a drawstring. Tathar flashed him a quick triumphant grin, then climbed higher into the treetops to access the corridor of branches which would allow safe passage north, to home.

They furtively made their way back to the palace, the loot swinging over Legolas' shoulder as they climbed through the branches, and finally reached a courtyard high on the mountain in which the Halls were dug.

Legolas sent a quick message through the trees, saying, _Aldanna, meet us at the Loth's horror courtyard,_ knowing that their best friend could not resist when reminded of the birthday surprise they had once given Legolas' nieces.

Ten minutes later, Aldanna jumped into the courtyard from a rooftop, asking, "What is this about, then?" as she strode over to her best friends.

Legolas and Tathar had everything set up perfectly by then, and gestured to the recently repaired table and matching little chairs, inviting Aldanna to tea with them.

She sat, warily eyeing her blue friends, but trusting them for now. Legolas poured some tea while Tathar arranged a plate of biscuits, which they had left out here earlier for just this purpose.

"It has been a week since we spent any time alone," Legolas commented as he passed Aldanna her cup of tea, sweetened just how she liked it. Aldanna raised an eyebrow, and politely refrained from mentioning that it had a little to do with her punishment duty, and her fear of retribution, since she had, after all, been the cause of both ellyn being dyed blue.

"It is a shame," she returned, eyes flickering between her brothers-of-the-heart, "but duty calls, and our training becomes more intense as time goes on."

"We thought you might like a little gift," Tathar leant back in his chair, and sipped delicately from his teacup, much like his mother did on occasion.

"A little gift? Oh, you really shouldn't," Aldanna protested, but Tathar waved her off as Legolas brought the pièce de résistance out from underneath a cloth. It was a cake, made of two layers with thick cream icing and filling. Aldanna's eyes widened. It was hazelnut, her favourite flavour. The icing was cream cheese, her favourite.

And, to top it all off, there were little figurines made of spun sugar on top – three blue elves, no doubt representing the three best friends.

"I love you both!" Aldanna cried, standing and wrapping her boys up in a tight hug, and bouncing back to the table to inspect her present closer. "It seems such a shame to ruin such a beautiful cake."

Tathar produced a knife to cut the cake, and soon each friend had a slice of delicious cake.

Legolas took a bite of the bottom part of the cake. Delicious hazelnut flavouring caused him to smile involuntarily.

Tathar took a forkful of the top part of the cake and the icing. Cream cheese and hazelnut filled his mouth in a strangely delicious combination, one which Aldanna and he had stumbled across during their youth in a misadventure involving the kitchens.

Aldanna picked her piece up and shoved a good-sized portion into her mouth, savouring the taste of her absolute favourite dessert.

Suddenly, though, her expression changed to confusion, then disgust, then absolute horror, as she realised the texture was wrong.

There was something in the cream filling!

The usually graceful novice warrior spat her cake out, and gagged as she picked stringy, lumpy, strange bits out of her mouth, gaping in horror as she realised what her friends had done.

Spiders. Hundreds of baby spiders were mixed into the cream filling.

"Legolas! Tathar!" she shouted, but both ellyn were already running across the courtyard, and slammed the door behind them as they left.

Furious, Aldanna threw the ruined cake at the closed door, and then ran as fast as she could towards the training fields – she couldn't hit Legolas or Tathar, but she certainly could pound her frustration out on a dummy with her sword.

_I knew revenge was coming_, she mused as she flew past the healing houses, _but honestly, who puts spiders in a cake?_


End file.
